even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
