I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
