Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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