awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
