I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
