the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
