You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's the barista slut.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
