I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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