You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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