Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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