I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
