I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i dont even know how to be here
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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