how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
