i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Randomize
