When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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