You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
