I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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