Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
