at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
