Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
