I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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