oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize