Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
