I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
