I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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