I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i already hear my dad disowning me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
