She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
