i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
