If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
