I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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