The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
