why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
