what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
