dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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