Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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