I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
