someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
