I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
