Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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