What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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