I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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