im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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