Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
