I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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