Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
