I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
