You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
