I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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