So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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