Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
