You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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