We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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