I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize