she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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