we have pet lesbian snakes
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Two words: blizzard sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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