it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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