Why does Corona taste like a burp?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
