I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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