Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
