Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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