yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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