Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
