So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
