i would punch a child for taco bell
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
