I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
