you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize