does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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