bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
