38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize