And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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