I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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