he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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