Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
