Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
