So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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