Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize