so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
