...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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