Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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