I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
