Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
