so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
