So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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